Get support and advice

What are some of the things I should consider before applying for information about my donor or donor-conceived siblings?

Before you request information about your donor or donor-conceived siblings or decide to contact them, you may want to think about the following:

What are you expecting to find out?  Will you be disappointed, for example, if your donor has provided very little information? 

There is also a small chance that the donor you thought was anonymous has chosen to lift their anonymity. If so, would you consider getting in contact with your donor?

Have you got expectations about the number of donor-conceived genetic siblings you have? 10 different families are able to use the same donor and have a number of children each, so it's possible that you could have over 20 donor-conceived genetic siblings. It's also possible that you have no siblings.    

Are you prepared for the fact that your donor or donor-conceived siblings may have very different lifestyles, attitudes and opinions to you? How would you feel if that was the case?

What if your donor or donor-conceived siblings want to meet your family or have a closer relationship with you? How will you handle that if it’s not something you’re expecting?

What if your donor or donor-conceived siblings do not want to meet with you? How would you feel if this was the case?

Have you discussed your need to find your donor and or donor-conceived siblings with your  parent(s)? How would they feel if you do not discuss your intentions and feelings with them if contact is made?

Where can I get further information or advice?

The following pages can help you to think through some of the key issues before you request information from us about your donor or donor-conceived siblings, or before you decide to get in touch with them.  

• Preparing to access identifying information about your donor
• Preparing to access non-identifying information about your donor and donor-conceived genetic siblings
• Preparing to exchange contact details with your donor-conceived genetic siblings

We encourage you to talk these issues through with someone you trust such as a family member or friend, or other people who have been through a similar experience.

Where can I go for support?

Donor Conceived UK is a peer-led charitable organisation providing information, signposting and support for donor-conceived people, donors, and others affected by donor conception practices in the UK.

The Donor Conception Network is a supportive network of UK families with children conceived with donated sperm, eggs or embryos, those considering or undergoing donor conception procedures; and donor-conceived people.

The Donor Conceived Register helps to connect donor-conceived people who were conceived before 1 August 1991 with their donor and siblings. The administration of the DNA testing along with the counselling service is provided by the Liverpool Women's NHS Foundation Trust.

The British Infertility Counselling Association (BICA) has details of counsellors with expertise in supporting people dealing with issues around infertility, including donor conception.

For advice about other counselling services in the UK, contact the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. Your GP should also be able to refer you to a counsellor on the NHS.

The Counselling Directory is a comprehensive database of UK counsellors and psychotherapists.